First WTW event of the year??.. I feel it could be very important. TONIGHT!!! 7:30 pm!
SEE PREVIEW HERE
Locations:
Cinemark Tinseltown LAYTON UT 84041
Cinemark Union Heights 16 MIDVALE UT 84047
Cinemark Tinseltown Newgate OGDEN UT 84405
Cinemark University Mall OREM UT 84097
Cinemark 16 Provo PROVO UT 84601
CNK Salt Lake City 16 SALT LAKE CITY UT 84115
Eleanor – My sister Sydney – I have been thinking about myself in a different way since I’ve graduated. I have been thinking about what qualities my sister has to be “adult”. She has been an adult her WHOLE life. She inspires me to be my most adult self.
Meg – Loving and understanding in sister fly (youth group leader)
Jessica – Single mom, took care of everyone. Everyone was loved by her. Mom was dedicated to being compassionate. Very sacrificial and accepting. You don’t always see things in people and understand how special and how much until afterward.
Mylee – My mom is so spiritual and so wise, she doesn’t need a lot of booksmarts. She trusts in God and shares her wisdom with me. It’s so lucky.
Amanda – I just had this flashback to my sophomore year of high school, when I had a horrible hard time with my mom. I wrote a crazy English assignment and my mother and father seemed to play negative roles at that time. I have become more grateful over time. My mom is so kind and I hope she will forgive me for things I said about and to her in my growing up years. I am really proud of her, she got her degree through correspondence while she was raising 4 kids.
Fairy Tale by Herman Hester – About a woman who has a baby and blesses him to be loved. He lives the most miserable life. But when she is old she gets to change her wish and she wishes for him to love everyone. Suddenly, poor, lonely and destitute, her son begins to live the best life. He lives a life filled with love.
Intelligence coupled with love is the best way. It is really hard to be intelligent and think critically about people and then put that into good instead of pushing people around or manipulating people.
It is hard to balance because you have so many relationships going on at once
I have a hard time because I keep myself so busy… that when I start having someone in my life I don’t know how to incorporate someone into my life without forgoing some things that are really important to me.
How do you find that balance?
Learn it from life experience: You can abandon things to hang with that person, or you can make an active choice to figure out who you are and what you need, and then only giving up those things that are actually going to hinder a relationship.
You cannot let yourself become weaker by giving up things… don’t get into a parasitic relationship
The problem with a divorce is you have to redefine yourself, you have to see which part of you is you and which part is something that the other person influenced and shaped.
What do you do to be yourself, no matter what?
Just taking time to be yourself, and do nothing. Just being in touch with yourself.
Remembering the people you can always rely on for your strength, like close familky and friends.
Doing things that make you uncomfortable… challenging yourself. (more…)
People do take it really seriously and personally because you are confronting their whole thought process…
You can talk about how you feel, and not what they’re doing wrong, because you’re in defense instead of offense.
A few things that you can do:
This is like a counseling experience (impart knowledge to someone who is less than willing to receive that knowledge – and be a catalyst for change)
- It’s not about you, it’s about the other person
- Convey a sense of empathy even if you disagree with their point of view.
- Communicate 1st that you empathise or are trying to see from their point of view.. that you understand what they are thinking
- Remember that this doesn’t have to be a super-charged emotional confrontation… we’re not staging a battle…we’re trying to impart knowledge.
- You need to make sure they feel like they are understood and you are interested in what they are saying… it CANNOT be a lecture… it automatically shuts them down.
Reflective listening techniques:
1. Repeat back what they say: rephrase what they say. “so you’re saying…”
2. “so how does that make you feel…”
3. Keep calm
4. Start out with key phrases that are neutral : “I’m wondering why…” and “Can I ask you a question”
5. Seem passive and not condescending.
Sometimes our initial defensive reaction brings people to put up a wall, how do you neutralize?
Apologize, share how you feel
How do you balance school and work and friends?
How do you compartmentalize? Or prioritize? This is important to learn now.
Is it an unreal expectation to be awesome at everything.
Do things overlap? Can being a good career-woman actually allow us to be better wives and mothers?
How does the concept of “wearing different hats” even work?
Does it have to do with the “hat”?
Does it have to do with the person?
What is SUPERMOM? Isn’t it important to have a community of women? Isn’t it a city that raises the child, and not just one woman alone?
Expectations are so important, seeing your limitations and seeing where things need to give….
Sleeping Habits
Eating right
Relationships: Easier or harder… They are a nice release…
Balance is like waves, it is really unrealistic to say we can be balanced all the time
Dina –
1. What do you see a woman as?
2. How do you see women in the ME and do you force that definition on them?
3. What is a women’s movement? What would you expect of it? And do you think it’s possible in the ME?
Burka is oppressive? A ME Women’s movement would be so different from the women’s movement we know here?
A women’s movement is probably about choice, and about allowing women to have the choice to live the lives they could or want to?
Is oppression different? Is it the same as some of the oppression we even experience where we put the oppression on ourselves?
Religion: There are so many different fragmentations within Arab cultures because if you are arab that does not mean that you are a muslim. Religious ideology is extremely diverse.
There are many different ways that you could have a women’s movement… it could be about politics, or about sexual freedom, or about whatever…..
A women’s movement there could have positive/negative (depending on how you see it) on western women.
Elite aristocratic society equated equality and secular ideas that came with colonialism. But the lower and middle classes, completely downtrodden, stepped up and put their foot down and said the “reason” that
If a woman cannot gain an education, they cannot read, and because they cannot read the kuran, they cannot make their own decision about
Thank you in particular to the men who come and attend our meetings because they add something very interesting to the group.WTW – GENDER IMAGE
“Dirty Zac” article in Interview magazine
Women were always accessories
Why is it that male underwear models even stand in “a feminine way”? Wait is that actually a “feminine way” or is it just the “way someone would stand if they are naked.
Naomi Wolfe – Effect of porn on men
(more…)
Continuing our conversation about pornography….
If you find that someone you’re in a relationship with is using or abusing pornography:
1. Set boundaries: You want to work with them, and you need to decide what you can do to help while staying emotionally safe. You decide what you want that relationship to be. Once you set boundaries a lot of times it helps you move in a positive direction toward trust and toward forgiveness. For him too, it helps him to understand how to become trustworthy.
2. Any addiction is selfish, and a person turns inward. Being able to confess and be vulnerable enough to talk to you about it is really shameful and scary. Think of him as a real person, and not as an addict. If he wants you to be part of his problem, then he has to give complete disclosure. (QUOTE FROM MARK BUTLER)
3. Making some particular promises to each other. Small commitments that you each can fulfill day by day, and in small increments, you can gain and regain trust and learn to keep commitments and even more serious promises.
4. 12 step recovery programs really work! Group therapy is really good and helps the addicts feel safe and not judged, which helps them gain motivation. They have support groups for women and children related to porn users. THERE IS ONE AT BYU AND ANOTHER ONE AT THANKSGIVING POINT.
TRUST – WHAT IS IT
Social Scientists: Trust includes honesty and true benevolence
When you want to be trusted, you want to generally be honest and kind toward others…. You both feel that the other person will generally be honest and kind
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