SEE PREVIEW HERE

Locations:
Cinemark Tinseltown LAYTON UT 84041
Cinemark Union Heights 16 MIDVALE UT 84047
Cinemark Tinseltown Newgate OGDEN UT 84405
Cinemark University Mall OREM UT 84097
Cinemark 16 Provo PROVO UT 84601
CNK Salt Lake City 16 SALT LAKE CITY UT 84115

DC Women’s Foundation : )

Eleanor – My sister Sydney – I have been thinking about myself in a different way since I’ve graduated. I have been thinking about what qualities my sister has to be “adult”. She has been an adult her WHOLE life. She inspires me to be my most adult self.

Meg – Loving and understanding in sister fly (youth group leader)

Jessica – Single mom, took care of everyone. Everyone was loved by her. Mom was dedicated to being compassionate. Very sacrificial and accepting. You don’t always see things in people and understand how special and how much until afterward.

Mylee – My mom is so spiritual and so wise, she doesn’t need a lot of booksmarts. She trusts in God and shares her wisdom with me. It’s so lucky.

Amanda – I just had this flashback to my sophomore year of high school, when I had a horrible hard time with my mom. I wrote a crazy English assignment and my mother and father seemed to play negative roles at that time. I have become more grateful over time. My mom is so kind and I hope she will forgive me for things I said about and to her in my growing up years. I am really proud of her, she got her degree through correspondence while she was raising 4 kids.

Fairy Tale by Herman Hester – About a woman who has a baby and blesses him to be loved. He lives the most miserable life. But when she is old she gets to change her wish and she wishes for him to love everyone. Suddenly, poor, lonely and destitute, her son begins to live the best life. He lives a life filled with love.

Intelligence coupled with love is the best way. It is really hard to be intelligent and think critically about people and then put that into good instead of pushing people around or manipulating people.

It is hard to balance because you have so many relationships going on at once

I have a hard time because I keep myself so busy… that when I start having someone in my life I don’t know how to incorporate someone into my life without forgoing some things that are really important to me.

How do you find that balance?

Learn it from life experience: You can abandon things to hang with that person, or you can make an active choice to figure out who you are and what you need, and then only giving up those things that are actually going to hinder a relationship.

You cannot let yourself become weaker by giving up things… don’t get into a parasitic relationship

The problem with a divorce is you have to redefine yourself, you have to see which part of you is you and which part is something that the other person influenced and shaped.

What do you do to be yourself, no matter what?

Just taking time to be yourself, and do nothing. Just being in touch with yourself.

Remembering the people you can always rely on for your strength, like close familky and friends.

Doing things that make you uncomfortable… challenging yourself.

Independence vs. Interdependence

Independent strengths can rub off and become part of other people

Community of individual strengths, encouraging others to be who they are…

Avoiding comparison will help us come to terms with the fact that there is someone else that does something better than us.

Systems-thinkers are people who understand the problem, and be willing to find others who we need in different ways.

“I lift the and the lift me, and together we’ll ascend”

Can’t grow without giving and receiving

Independent women don’t normally reach out and ask for help, and aren’t humble enough to ask for what they need. How is being weak and knowing your necessities important in being strong?

Marxist feminism – individuals WITHIN a community of women

How have you found yourself, and what do you do to be who you are?

Sticking with something long enough to make It part of who you are and if you love it and how you love it.

You need to find out what you love to create. I need to be okay with being okay with myself and that I’m just okay.

Starting a blog. Putting yourself out there – brings things into your life.

Being okay with who you are and putting it out there for people to see, if you think they will think you’re weird, they’re not the people you want in your life.

Topic

Self-esteem

Dating

Sex

A few things that you can do:

This is like a counseling experience (impart knowledge to someone who is less than willing to receive that knowledge – and be a catalyst for change)

-   It’s not about you, it’s about the other person
-   Convey a sense of empathy even if you disagree with their point of view.
-   Communicate 1^st that you empathise or are trying to see from their point of view.. that you understand what they are thinking
-   Remember that this doesn’t have to be a super-charged emotional confrontation… we’re not staging a battle…we’re trying to impart knowledge.
-   You need to make sure they feel like they are understood and you are interested in what they are saying… it CANNOT be a lecture… it automatically shuts them down.

Reflective listening techniques:

1. Repeat back what they say: rephrase what they say. “so you’re saying…”

2. “so how does that make you feel…”

3. Keep calm

4. Start out with key phrases that are neutral : “I’m wondering why…” and “Can I ask you a question”

5. Seem passive and not condescending.

Sometimes our initial defensive reaction brings people to put up a wall, how do you neutralize?
Apologize, share how you feel

Body Language: Keep yourself open, and have an even voice… volume level normal

Basic Guidelines for Giving Feedback

McGill and Beatty (in “Action learning: A practitioner’s guide”, London: Kogan Page, 1994, p. 159-163) provide useful suggestions about giving effective feedback:

1. Clarity — Be clear about what you want to say.

2. Emphasize the positive — This isn’t being collusive in the person’s dilemma.

3. Be specific — Avoid general comments and clarify pronouns such as “it,” “that,” etc.

4. Focus on behavior rather than the person.

5. Refer to behavior that can be changed.

6. Be descriptive rather than evaluative.

7. Own the feedback — Use ‘I’ statements.

8. Generalizations — Notice “all,” “never,” “always,” etc., and ask to get more specificity — often these words are arbitrary limits on behavior.

9. Be very careful with advice — People rarely struggle with an issue because of the lack of some specific piece of information; often, the best help is helping the person to come to a better understanding of their issue, how it developed, and how they can identify actions to address the issue more effectively.

The chances of you changing someone’s mind in one interaction: slim to none… harboring those experiences.. multiple people effecting change through a number of positive interactions.

If people are more reactionary, then the people that have offended you are going to be less receptive to what they have to say.

Once you have gotten the person riled up it is impossible to really get them to talk about something with you.

How can we balance our feelings: we started having a conversation and now I feel like starting a riot in the streets? Getting the satisfaction of yelling is not necessarily the right answer at the time. Getting up on the table is just about you.. it’s not about making change.

We want to yell, but can’t that passion and emotion be channeled into saying what is right in the right way, not about who is right, right now.

Time and a place:

When is it right to get up and shout?

Policy-making, You are confronting a larger group, parading around is for getting a general idea out there to a general audience

How can we teach our own children:

1. address outside influences within the home

2. bring it home by teaching by example

3. define terms like feminist by action and personal interaction

4. recognize that even if you teach your children something about feminism and women’s issues, they will make their own conclusions and decisions in the end.

Mutual Respect: Let’s respect one another

How do you bring up something that is offensive but not sound like you need them to be uber sensitive toward you….

1. Own your feelings, but realize that you can generalize about women because you are one! “That kind of remark would offend women”

2. Don’t care about it… let them be sensitive to you… they should be!

Feedback:

“If someone really shows they care about me, they could basically say anything to me and I would want to work with them.”

How do you compartmentalize? Or prioritize? This is important to learn now.

Is it an unreal expectation to be awesome at everything.

Do things overlap? Can being a good career-woman actually allow us to be better wives and mothers?

How does the concept of “wearing different hats” even work?

Does it have to do with the “hat”?
Does it have to do with the person?

What is SUPERMOM? Isn’t it important to have a community of women? Isn’t it a city that raises the child, and not just one woman alone?

Expectations are so important, seeing your limitations and seeing where things need to give….

Sleeping Habits

Eating right

Relationships: Easier or harder… They are a nice release…

Balance is like waves, it is really unrealistic to say we can be balanced all the time

School

Work

Fitness

Health

Social Life

Family

Church

Down Time

Entertainment

Why is hard to say no to some things?
Based in insecurity… What if they don’t invite me again? What if I am missing out on something really awesome or something?

Maybe it is just being flexible with your expectations… don’t be stagnant, but don’t self-hate

It is really pre-eminitley important to be connected with people. The only way to maintain sanity is to be connected with people and things. There is a balance to be found between having those connections and not having any connections at all.

It is very important to have things that you identify with

Things you are good at doing… What if we all just said “I know I am really really good at 3 things and I am the go to person for these things…”

Can we only do one thing at a time?

But do we need to be well-rounded.

Every time we do something we are giving up something else we could be doing……

“”Balance comes from priorities””

Priorities can come from moral compasses: church, philosophy.

Peace can be achieved when you figure out what works for you… then prioritize those things and then you can balance by elimination and choice with little guilt and maximum peace.

Dina –

1. What do you see a woman as?
2. How do you see women in the ME and do you force that definition on them?
3. What is a women’s movement? What would you expect of it? And do you think it’s possible in the ME?

Burka is oppressive? A ME Women’s movement would be so different from the women’s movement we know here?

A women’s movement is probably about choice, and about allowing women to have the choice to live the lives they could or want to?

Is oppression different? Is it the same as some of the oppression we even experience where we put the oppression on ourselves?

Religion: There are so many different fragmentations within Arab cultures because if you are arab that does not mean that you are a muslim. Religious ideology is extremely diverse.

There are many different ways that you could have a women’s movement… it could be about politics, or about sexual freedom, or about whatever…..

A women’s movement there could have positive/negative (depending on how you see it) on western women.

Elite aristocratic society equated equality and secular ideas that came with colonialism. But the lower and middle classes, completely downtrodden, stepped up and put their foot down and said the “reason” that

If a woman cannot gain an education, they cannot read, and because they cannot read the kuran, they cannot make their own decision about

The veil: Not just something you cover your hair necessarily, sometimes you cover your whole face other than your eyes (afgani women).

Burkha

Nichob

Himar

Is it really a commandment of God for women to cover their hair? Not in the Koran.

Hadith (Holy Hadith – God to Muhammed)

(Unholy Hadith – Muhammed said it)

(Strong Hadith -

(Weak Hadith -

The concept of the Veil came from Iran – Persian culture – Aristocratic women would wear the veil to show they are from an aristocratic family. Arab cultures also adopted this into their culture to show their aristocracy/separation from the slaves.

Greek women (during the Hellenistic period) would cover themselves except for their eyes (probably some of the worst treated women in history) … this veil infiltrated into our society.

Jahiliea (Pre Islamic Arabia) – Women would be born and buried immediately… they were unloved and unappreciated. Women were also powerful because they could give pleasure and had power over men with sex. They were sexy and wore bangles… and they had husbands, but they also were having sex with everyone and had many lovers.

Islam was the first abrahamic religion that did away with many inequalities, such as equality in education, working rights, marital rights, like finances and sexual rights, .. women could now DIVORCE their husbands. Even slaves had rights.

Muslims in Europe are taking steps to educate others and to educate themselves about understanding and tolerating things in each other’s cultures.

Men and women are now trying to foster healthy interaction between the two genders in school, in the workplace.

Familial perceptions generally decide how women live their lives. In many families the woman’s honor is connected with the family’s honor.

Pan-Arab Movement – Uniting arabs across the ME.

“What’s right with Islam is What’s Right with America” and “American Islam” are good books.

Dina shared an experience about her father’s funeral, where she couldn’t sit by her brother because women and men were seated in separate rooms.

“A women’s movement is just a humanitarian movement.”

The Quran – Tarif Khalidi (This is Dina’s favorite translation of the Quran –

Lebanon Palestine, Egypt and Morocco give women more freedoms – where women are given the best human rights.

Saudia Arabia is not oppressive, but ridiculous… because its so rich and D&G under their chadors. Afghanistan oppresses their women the most…

http://www.apa.org/monitor/dec98/gender.html

http://mrl10685.wordpress.com/